What I Remember of My Birthday

Even though it was on a Wednesday, I knew I'd be able to do it big, just because everyone here doesn't really care about classes (myself included, especially since Wednesdays I only have class from 3-6). I decided to pregame by the river, like we do it, then go on to Ayers Rock, which is this awesome Aussie bar/club thing. Paulina was such a trooper because she had class Thursday at 8am. And then we had the train to Paris at 6pm to get to Dublin. Ouch.

I get home from class and start getting ready, modeling different attire while Paulina's knee-deep in Lysol in the bathtub (cough, Tanya). Meanwhile we're also making dinner. We had to be done by around 9, 9:15 so we could all meet up at this girl Cerise's residence and head down to Guillotière together around 9:30. This wasn't happening. Paulina said we were waiting for Stephanie and Jessica, which made no sense to me. None. Because Stephanie and Jessica LIVE in Guillotière. Maggie from upstairs asked me to get her and Maria when we were ready to head out. Jessica said they left at 8:50. We live ten minutes away. It's 9:24. "If they're not here by 9:30 I'm going to get pissed," I said. "What time is it?" Paulina asked. "9:24." I texted them 2 minutes later and they said they were a block away so I told Paulina I was going to get Maggie & Co (her French boyfriend Cyril's birthday was the same day, too). She tried to stop me from getting them and I kept saying it'd save time. I came upstairs and came back down in about 3 minutes. I walk into our flat with Maggie, Cyril, and Maria and there, standing, are Stephanie, Jessica, Paulina with balloons all over the place and a cake on the table with candles burning in it, singing Happy Birthday. Not only was I a deer caught in headlights, I was an embarrassed deer caught in headlights. Jessica starts cutting the cake while Paulina takes out this Litchi alcohol thing from the fridge and starts pouring that for everyone. Okay, I guess we'll pregame here.

They explained they were late because they ran to get the cake (delicious) and change and all that. "Where did all of these balloons come from?" I asked. "I blew them up while your bitch ass was in class," Paulina said. HAHAHA no wonder when I came home she was passed out.

After shoving cake into our mouths and changing arrangements, we hopped on the metro and went up to the river. I told Paulina to invite her French boo, Sebastien, who brought his friend I met once before, Benoit (Ben for short). Besides that, though, EVERYONE was there, and when I say everyone I mean it. Even British Ben, who I was in love with but not anymore. After I tried Cerise's pastis, which is the most vile thing on Earth, I gather part of the herd and we head down to Ayers, under the direction of French Ben. Along the way we found out it closes at 1 so we're like, okay, Flemmings after.

We get to Ayers and it is poppin'. We post up at the bar and start taking shots of this blue vodka mess. 4 shots in I am stone cold sober. And then everyone starts buying shots for the birthday girl. I need something stronger and quick. Chris (my favorite Kiwi, re: my profile pic on FB), Jerry, and Megan show up. "Chris, you can do anything. Get me a straight shot of tequila. Jerry, I'll take another blue vodka thing. Megan, I'll take different colored vodka thing." I downed three of those in quick succession and then the happiness followed. Ayers closed and the lot of us were steadily moving to Flemmings in Vieux Lyon. I decide to hop on John McClain's back - he's like 6'4. Carries me two blocks or something and out of nowhere Sebastien's head comes through my legs (haha) and I'm sitting on his shoulders. I steal his fagalish beret and I am on top of the world. He was deliberately wobbling me around and forcefully smashed us into a garbage dump thing. I had enough of his near death experiences so I hop on Chris instead. Now he kept trying to tip me into the river but he got me like around the corner from Flemmings. He wins. Truly a man with a mission.

I walk into Flemmings and there are even more people there. I see Brit Ben and tell him to take a tequila shot with me. Even before this shot, I was pretty drunk and he was just wasted beyond compare. He had trouble standing. Perfect opportunity. We take the shot. I walk over to Paulina and drunkenly ask her to find out if he likes me. I'm juvenile, I know. Meanwhile some French dude named Xavier is telling me I'm the most beautiful girl he's seen and I'm like, "dude, come oooooon now." Out of nowhere he's like, "So you go home with me?" He cut to the chase haha.

Now here's where my night starts to get fuzzy. I remember taking more shots with French Ben, who so obviously had a thing for me, then with Stephanie (?), then with .... okay, I can't remember, definitely more people...maybe Tom? Whatever. The bartender found out it was my birthday so he gave me a shot of something vodka tasting with whipped cream on top and a candle. Everyone sang happy birthday again :) I blew it out and swallowed it. Next to it was a vodka-kahlua disaster that I took also. Okay, I am at blackout drunk. Everything following this are stories people told me mixed with odd things I remember.

I think it was closing time, 3:30, for Flemmings. Come to think of it, I don't even know where Flemmings is. No matter. Everyone is saying their goodbyes to me (I think) and French Ben does the whole bisous thing. He kisses me on one cheek, then the other, and then he just kisses me, several times (sidenote: Apparently I told Jessica, Paulina and Stephanie: GIGGLE GIGGLE HE KISSED ME HAR HAR I think he likes me." To which Paulina said, "YOU THINK?!" But my recollection of this is sketchy, although I'm pretty positive it happened).

Anyway, I'm stumbling out with Matt and Megan, who said they'd take me home in a cab a) because Matt was staying over and b) Megan lives across the street. Apparently I sat on a bench and said I didn't want to move (can you blame me) and then Paulina yelled at me (as usual). She apparently went with Sebastien on bikes (explains why I was so upset I didn't know where she was) because she gets hella motion sick. Somehow, Matt and Megan found the last cab in Bellecour, but not before I peed in some bush. They stuff me in the back and I pass out. They wake me up what seems like a week later and I see the school. Fuck. I do not want to move. Now here's what I am really curious about - how I was able to punch the code in to get into the building. I remember I took my lenses out and I sat in a chair in a kitchen. Someone wakes me up. Paulina. Apparently I was slumped over in a near 90 degree angle. Someone else picks me up and takes off my jacket. Sebastien. He grabs me under the arms, walks me into my room, puts me to bed and covers me. He tells Matt to go sleep next to me.

I wake up around 7 because I have to pee. I look next to me and see Matt. What happened last night? I look down and see I am still in my clothes. Also realize I am still very drunk. I hear moving - Paulina getting ready to go to class. I have worst dry mouth in history. Can't even open it to drunk. I go to the bathroom to change, wash off my face. Collapse into bed. Pass out some more. Hear Paulina walk in again, send Matt on his way. Too hungover to sleep. Look around, the flat is a MESS.

We shuffle out of bed. Paulina sits down and starts eating leftover birthday cake. Man that was a sad sight haha. Around 1:30 I decided to shower to feel like I came back to life. Eat some bread to mop up the alcohol in my body. We packed and then headed for train to Paris and then flight to Dublin.

Birthday French Style = EPIC.