...standing in lines. Maybe it's because I consider myself awkward, but the whole experience is just horrendously weird for me. This includes standing on line for the bus, for food, or on a line about to pay for shit I can't afford. The whole experience just bothers me and makes me neurotic. I think, Am I shifting my weight over and over? Are all of these people looking at me? What are they thinking?
And I know they're probably not thinking anything, except maybe for me to stop fidgeting. But I don't know what to do with myself. Do I cross my arms or leave them at my sides? Are these people judging my choice of toppings for my sandwich or my salad? Are they making jibes at me for eating salami? These uncomfortable thoughts could all be avoided if I didn't have to wait on line. I especially hate waiting on line when I'm the only one standing and everyone else is sitting. The place where I get my salad on Thursdays and Fridays has a massive seating area, and while I'm waiting for the salad maker dude to throw tomatoes into the bowl, I can imagine pairs of eyes burning into the back of me, where I can't see them. Or deflect them. Or make them go away. Look at someone else! I want to scream. Maybe they're really not looking at me, but I can never be certain. Just thinking about standing in that salad line again today is making me shudder.
You know what else makes me nervous? Paying for shit. I feel rushed by the people behind me when I'm fumbling with my change. I like to put my money in bill-order facing a certain way, but nooo, unless I'm the only one on that line, I don't have that opportunity, to gingerly put the remnants of my money away.
Does this make anyone else nervous, or is it just me? I have my money on it being just me.
Good heavens, am I really this neurotic? Yes, yes I am.
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I get nervous when the X24 rolls up and I'm squeezing the heck out of my Metrocard to make sure it's facing the right way, and the doors open differently on every bus so I'm also waiting to see which direction it opens so it doesn't hit me.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you're talking about! I get the same thing on the 23, and if perchance my metrocard is facing the wrong way, I get all flustered, haha :)
ReplyDeleteYou are both crazy. Just cheeeeeel.
ReplyDeleteJenny - It's all your imagination. Nobody cares about you standing online and nobody is watching you. And even if they are, what do you care what they think? You don't know them and you'll never see them again.
I also feel rushed when I have to put away my money.
I do my part for the people waiting in line by being a fast customer: goods, cash, change, thanks, next.
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